It's Time to lose the Guilt

Today I attended an awesome class at Metabolic. It was called It's time to lose the Guilt. It was to help us target and explore the guilt that is associated with weight loss. To help move on from any weight loss perceived failures and emotional pain that may have resulted from it.

For me this class helped me to realize that I have no reason to feel guilty for the choices that I have made to eat healthier, to lose the weight once and for all ,and to take control of my over all health. It's my opportunity to do something that it completely for me. To love myself, and take care of the body that God has given me. I'm not changing to please others, I am changing for me. Losing weight is taking care of me, embracing that I need to love me.

Recently I had an experience with a cousin who is greatly over weight. And since learning that I had made the decision to lose my weight, and be healthier. She had made some very sarcastic comments that I let really bother me to the point that I was starting to feel as though she wanted me to feel guilty for doing something that she wasn't ready to do for herself. But just in the past few weeks I have come to the realization  that I have nothing at all to feel guilty about.  My choice to lose my weight is for me, no one and nothing has anything to do with that choice, but me.  It might make others uncomfortable with their present situation, but they need to find their need to change that situation for them. No one can tell you that you need to lose weight. Just like no one can tell you what you should or shouldn't eat. If you eat something that isn't the best choice for your plan then you are the one who made that choice. It's not that you cheated on your plan.

The truth is, you can't cheat with food! it's impossible. The word cheat refers to something illegal or immoral, and food is neither of these.  You do not have some kind of moral or character defect just because you chose to eat a cookie!  As of today, completely stop using the word "cheat" when you refer to your eating plan. Instead, use the words "choose" or "choice" to describe your behavior.  Stop excusing your behavior by blaming lack of will power or discipline.  You're in charge of your own choices.  Take responsibility for the decisions you make around food, and then when you talk about your actions, describe them in ways that maintain your personal power.

One of the challenges that we have with dieting is the way that we catagorize food in the first place. For example, who decided that a carrot was good and a brownie was bad? In most cases you simply measure your dieting efforts against a list of foods that are allowed or not allowed., then chastise yourself for eating from the wrong side.  To break the habit of calling yourself good or bad, follow the same logic as your did with cheating, (you can't be good or bad with food...it's impossible!)  When you discuss your weight-loss plan, refer to your eating choices like this..."I made a good choice this morning by eating a healthy breakfast.  This afternoon, I made a poorer choice when I ate 3 brownies."  By talking about each of you actions as a choice, you can eliminate the punishing self-messages that say you were bad.  Change your vocabulary!  Getting rid of old dieting terms such as cheat, good and bad will take practice.  At first you might feel awkward, but keep at it.  By changing your language, you take back your power around food.  You also acknowledge that you are personally responsible for your decision regarding food.

Before you can take back your power from guilt, you must courageously explore and discover the specific and underlying emotions that may have been at work taking it away. This means taking responsiblilty.  It comes down to YOU and YOUR choices.

Thought that I had plateaued...

This past week I thought that I had hit a plateau. But I guess it was a short lived one. I lost another 1.5 pounds since my weigh in on tuesday. So that puts me only 4.5 pounds away from the 50 pound mark. Makes me want to work that much harder to reach it. And hopefully I can by the end of next week. Or at least by the beginning of the following. Can't believe that I have been able to accomplish so much in such a short time.


Another thing happened today during WI. My blood pressure was the absolute lowest it has ever been. 109/84. So obviously my healthy changes have made a huge difference in my health, so much so that I will never have to worry about high blood pressure, or diabetes again. Yeah! Very happy right now. Never imagined that I could change such serious health issues completely around. It will be interesting to see what the results of my liver function blood tests will show.

All of these positive changes just makes me want to work hard to achieve goal weight in January. Can't wait!

A new Adventure that was Fun....

Today was a fun and exhilarating day. I took my Niece Ashlynn and her best friend Mackenzie with me and we went Hiking. We Hiked to the top of a 614 foot waterfall. And in 90 degree weather. But even though it was quite a hike to the top. And I had to stop several times to catch my breath. It was a lot of fun. And I am really proud of myself. Because even 6 months ago, I would not have been able to do it. So I know that losing nearly 50 pounds. And eating a healthier diet, with regular exercise has helped tremendously to improve my stamina and overall health. We even talked about finding other places to hike. And I think the girls might even go with me to do the Diabetes walk on September 12th. It is so much fun to be active now. And the more things I try and do makes me just want to do more. Which is such an incredible feeling when you consider that at one time the MS had effected my legs so much that I could barely walk. And was even close to being in a wheelchair. And now I am hiking mountains. Who would have thought!




 It really was a lot of fun. I highly recommend getting out and trying new things that you maybe hadn’t done before. Because you never know you might finding something new to add to your own fitness adventures.

Looking over from the top of the Falls

Mackenzie & Ashlynn as we neared
the top of the falls.

Enjoying the water before we hiked back
down

Run for the Fallen...

This morning I decided to do Run for the Fallen. It was a Charity 5k Run/Walk to help raise money for the Gold Star Memorial to be built at Willamette National Cemetary to honor the 113 Oregon service men & women who have lost their lives during the Iraq/Afghan wars.

It was Awesome and also rather emotional especially to hear from one of the mothers whose son was killed in action while overseas. But I knew that I wanted to do this not only because it would be a great workout. But because it would be one small way of paying tribute to the milltary service men and women who still serve to protect the freedoms that most of us take for granted.

So we began at just a little after 8:30 this morning and in just under an hour I crossed the finish. So for me that was amazing especially since it has been about 2 years since I had participated in any kind of fitness event.

But you know I want to do more!!! giggles. So in a few weeks I am planning to do a Diabetes walk and then Portlands race for the Cure. So it will be fun and all are great reasons to be involved. So stay tuned in the coming weeks as I share more about my fitness walks.

A Great Weigh In.....

Just got back from MRC and had another great WI. I have lost another 1.5 pounds. So that means that I only have 5.5 pounds to go to reach the 50 pound mark. But even more exciting it means that I am only 15.5 pounds away from my half way point.

I am going to work hard the next 2 weeks to make that 50 pound mark. It’s hard to imagine that just by focus and comittment to my healthier lifestyle I have done so much already. And I really cannot wait to reach my Goal weight in January. But even more, I’m looking forward to reaching the halfway point because it will be a weight that I haven’t been since shortly after graduating High School.

So my motivation and commitment is still at an all time high. I want to remain this healthier, fit person and I am not looking back. This is my year to grow and find the woman that I let get lost by blaming my weight on the MS and other health issues. No more baby! This caterpiller is becoming the Monarch butterfly that had been hiding inside. Time to spread my wings and soar!

Pretty Happy today....

This morning was a great morning. I got up and went to do my bi-weekly weigh in at MRC. And I had lost 2 more pounds since Satuday.  Yeah! So that makes 43 pounds. So only 7 more to reach a total of 50 pounds. So I should be there with in the next few weigh ins. Gonna work hard over the couple of weeks. Especially since this puts me at only 17 pounds away from my Half way point. Never imagined that this would come up already to be that close to half way. So looking forward to it. Because then there will only be another 61 left to go. And to think that when I started this I was looking at a total of 121 pounds that I wanted to lose. Now just 17 left till half way.

One way that I have been able to stay focused on the task of losing this weight once and for all is that I break it down and set mini goals of 5-10 pounds at a time. That makes it much easier and more fun to work to reach them. Besides the fact that there is the little rewards of being able to sign the boards at MRC for each 10 pounds lost. So making this something fun and easy to work towards has made it so much easier to want to work to lose the weight and keep it off for good this time. Besides the added benefits of being able to turn what have been some serious health issues completely around. I never imagined that my Neurologist would say that the MS is benign and that it will probably never be an issue for me again. What more motivation could I possible need to keep eating a very healthy balanced diet and exercise 3-5 days a week, especially if it means that I won't have the serious symptoms of Multiple Sclerosis to deal with. Life is hard enough. Besides I want to live the healthiest, best life as possible. And I am doing it now.....:-)

Begining to Realize.....

Last night I went to see the movie Eat, Pray, Love with my mom. I loved it! It really hit home for me. It made me a bit emotional too, because I think I am realizing that this journey that I am on is not just about losing weight. It's about finding myself again. It's finding balance in all aspects of my life. Which in turn is helping me to be that healthier, stronger person that I have longed to be.

When I started my plan through Metabolic to lose the weight they mentioned that it is not just about losing weight. It's healing the whole person from the inside out. And now I can see that is true. I think that it comes back the the fact that for me, I finally am listening to God with my whole heart and believing that I am a worthwhile person who derserves to be happy, and healthy and living the best life possible. And this time I am going to succeed at keeping the weight off because it's a matter of keeping all aspects of my life in balance and as long as that is happening everything else just will fall into place.

One of the biggest things that I think has helped me in being successful this time in losing the weight is the fact that I realized that I am the one that needed to start loving myself and taking control of my health. I for so long have hated being fat, and hated being unhealthy, and I would blame it on so many things instead of owning up to it that I needed to change the things that I hated. And I needed to stop blaming others and outside factors for my weight and health issues. I am the only person that can change how I feel and look. So that’s what I did. And I will never look back. That unhappy, unhealthy woman is gone for good this time.

So for me this is what is giving me the motivation and the strong will power to keep working hard and keep losing the weight and keep getting strong and healthy, so that I will not have the serious health issues hanging over my head anymore. And I can continue to enjoy life.